trip report—in which the captain goes down with the ship
A few points on biking into the mountains from your doorstep.
-
Route planning
Consult maps; ignore their advice. Don’t let those stupid contour lines tell you where you can and cannot ride your bicycle.
-
Private roads
Despite their intimidating presence, many castle-moat style neighborhood blockades are not visible in google maps. Yet, even those reinforced with ornate tile-work and polished ornaments are easily trespassed. Truth be told, some of these neighborhoods might be better suited to a man wearing a Kalashnikov, sitting on the back of a late 80’s Toyota pickup. If he waves his cigarette at you, you are free to pass. This system is just as effective as the steel gate, but the motor on the Toyota (and the russian rifle) is surely more reliable than your current keypad-gate-setup. The checkpoint system has been widely adopted for it’s durability and seriousness. Your wifi-enabled Nest doorbell lacks authenticity.
-
Getting lost
Why doesn’t google maps include diurnal cow commuting paths?
-
The worst campsite
A strip of forest service land so small we had to sleep on it diagonally in order to avoid negating someone’s right to private property ownership. I promise we aren’t trying to oppress you! We’re just trying to appreciate an overlooked piece of public lands. If you stand on the far side it looks like you could just maybe squeeze in a fracking well pad, or maybe 10,000 head of cattle—if you ask them to stand just right. Either way, lots of opportunity! (Please stay on the trail).
-
The best campsite
We found it at 10:00am. The next day.
-
Bikewhacking
Similar in form and style to bushwacking, though the refs are much more relaxed. Tends to kill fancy cameras.
We peddled from one half-trail to another. Surprisingly, there are unmarked roads in the front range. The best biking is typically roads that were destroyed during the 2013 flooding, and subsequently closed to motor vehicles. In fact, the floods have done more for mountain bike access in Boulder than 20 years of community advocacy—Boulder was the first city to ban mountain biking, in 1983. Many of these roads are distinguished only by a lack of PRIVATE PROPERTY signs, and mailboxes. Our last push home included overtaking a few lycra-carbon-protein critters. If anyone is interested in the route, just spend 3 hours on Caltopo looking at driveways and yards. Or email me. Maybe we’ll ride it together.
Nice descent into a bikewhack.
A good flood spices up boring 4x4 routes.
Product plug: Oveja Negra bike bags. Colorado based and awesome. Product slander: plastic pedals.